Monday, June 17, 2013

the garden this week---deep thinking and digging deep

Don't you love it when you have something to keep your hands busy but still
are able to get lost in thought?
Gardening is that for me.
This past week has been the first 'real' steady work week for me in the yard.
I am very behind and yet the garden has been so patient.
It seems that when I am digging and getting my hands deep into the earth that that's when my 
best problem-solving gets done.
So many things in my life right now are taking precedence over the garden and I have missed
the time spent in deep thought. 

I remember when I was a little girl I would get frustrated with the noise and clatter and lack of 
privacy that goes with being a member of a family with six children.
I was the middle child. 
I always craved a space that was all mine but knew a room of 
my own was out of the question.
The little farm we lived on had a grove of trees that grew at the furthest corner
of our property and I would go there to think and be alone sometimes.
Now, lest you think that I would escape to my little corner in the woods
to get out of doing my chores you would be mistaken.
I was very serious about doing what I needed to do
and have a mother who can vouch for me.
I loved this place of solitude and was sad when my little corner was sold 
to another landowner nearby.
I think I still miss it to this day,

 but I shouldn't because I have this little place of respite now.

 I have some things on my mind that need serious thought and this week and every minute 
before it spent in the garden has given me opportunity to do that.

I am so thankful for it! 

When I am out here alone in beauty I can do some compartmentalizing,
prioritizing and planning what is important to take care of first.
I find myself thinking about the things that need changing in my life like
 several character flaws that have crept into my personality since
'those' hormonal changes that come with a certain age
have happened over the last 8 years or so.
Like over-sharing, or the need to make myself 'more' because I feel like less.
Forgetting important things, or
 getting perturbed by things that never bothered me before.
Just call me Miss Cranky Pants!
I did finally go on natural hormone replacement and have been so surprised
at how much better I feel about myself and how little pain I am in now.
Talk about over-sharing huh? : 0!

So many of my thoughts as I work are on my sweet sister as she prepares for
life without her husband who has brain cancer.
I have time to think about him and some of the good times we have all
had as a family.
Time to pray for his children who will miss their dad so much.

I think it's good to do some deep thinking on how to improve myself and 
my relationship with others.
I think this has been my year to really take stock and 
do better and think better and be better.

I have always heard it said that gardening is good for the soul.
It has been so for me since I planted it.

Now let's just hope all this thinking and digging gets the job done!


Victorian1885 said...

Dear June
I am sending hugs to you and your dear sister tonight. Saying goodbye to a family member is so hard and so sad... I truly believe they are always with us in spirit so that comforts me knowing we all will be together again someday.
Your garden is so lovely and I admire your dedication and hard work, your love of gardening shows in its beauty.
I am happy you are getting some results from the hormones, I have thought about looking into them as well.
Life is such a mystery in its ever changing stages and such a miracle as well.
Do take care my friend,

Geli said...

Dear June!
What a dreamy post of your garden and your thoughts ....
You' re so right!
The garden is so important for our life!
I couldn't live without one and you know how much I and my sweetheart are searching for a bigger one ...
What a tragedy for your sister!
I know how it is for the children.
My dad died when I was 5 and my brother 1!
Heart attack with 27!
I wish you a happy time in your green paradis dear June!
With love,

Unknown said...

Beautiful romantic garden-love your roses!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful spoken...served with beautiful pictures! I lov't!!!
Thanks for sharing.

Love, Peetje (Netherlands)

Bente said...

Dear June. Your garden is amazing. This pictures is just beautiful.
I`m so sorry for your sister and her family. Life is hard. I sometimes wonder how people manage to go trough such pain, but they do.
Your garden must be a fantastic place to think and dig.

Hugs from me

Barbara said...

Dear June,

With tears in my eyes I've read this beautiful post about deep thinking and digging. I too are the middle child of a family with 6 kids and always needed me-time in solitude. At age 17 I left my parents home to live on my own.

Such lovely images of your garden, and your Poppies and roses are my favorite.

For now, sending hugs to you and know your sister, her husband and their childeren are in my prayers.


flowersandhome said...

Dear June, you're so brave to share all this with us. Thank you for doing so. You're telling us about you deepest feelings and thoughts. Sometimes I write a post about how I feel and what's troubling me but in the end I don't have the courage to post it afterall.
When I started reading this post about how working in the garden helps to get away and be alone with your thoughts, I had to think of the time when I was still teaching. There was that year when I taught math(I'm a math and sciences teacher) to 15 year olds and on fridays I always had a day of all math classes to teach from 8 o'clock in the morning until 5 o'clock in the evening. When I came home in the evening, my head almost exploded and somehow I always fled to the garden and started to do some work there. It helped so much to put the day behind me and be there for my kids afterwards. I just needed that bit of time to work in the garden.
My sister lost her husband in a terrible accident a few years ago and was left with her three children as well. I do understand how hard it must be for your sister but also for you. I remember how long it took our whole family to be able to deal with it. Maybe it's good for all of you you have time, time to prepare, time to say goodbye, but it remains so very hard. I wish you and your sister a lot of strength in this difficult period.

Home and Lifestyle said...

A visit to your garden is always a great pleasure...thanks for sharing your pictures and thoughts!

Big hugs, Ingrid

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

So much beauty here as always, but not just the visuals.

Silence IS golden, because we can then hear the silver voice of God whispering in our heart. Solitude is GOOD because we can be alone with ourselves, the one person who often gets neglected when we think that helping others is the ONLY duty we must fulfill to be good. We need to know who we are, to organize our thoughts and be ready to go out and make that difference we really want to make. I so agree that NATURE is the best way to calm down, whether it's in the garden tending to the soil, or just watching a silly squirrel or listening the birds.

I wish YOU all that you need to minister to your sister, I pray your brother in law will have peace and that the children will grow and give their father all the love he needs.

Bless you sweet June, Anita

Beehive Needleworks said...

Dear June...I ALWAYS enjoy my visits with you...but this particular post touched my heart most truly. Tending a garden, with hands thrust deep into the soft, sun-warm earth is particularly soothing. Together with the serenade of songbirds, and the lullaby of bumblebees, one's soul does indeed gather focus and tranquility. I wish you many lovely and peaceful days...both in and out of your cherished sanctuary.
Sending love and prayers to you and your family ...
Judy x

Unknown said...

Beautiful Garden! Purple Irises are my favorite.

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

What a lovely post in photos and thoughts.

My heart and prayers go out to your sister and her family at this time. They are going to need strength going through the coming loss and afterwards.

Love and hugs to you ~ FlowerLady

Julie Marie said...

Prayers for your sister and her husband and family and all of you dear June... I do hope you find some peace of mind as you garden, it truly is the best place to contemplate life... both the happiness and sadness it sends our way... thinking of you dear friend, much love, Julie Marie (your garden is lovely, as always)...

chateau chic said...

Hi June,
Your gardens are absolutely breathtaking!! What a wonderful place to be able to contemplate while you work. To be surrounded by God's amazing creation must in itself bring a sense of peacefulness amidst the very hard things of life.
Mary Alice

Barbara said...

Good morning, June. This is the kind of post I love to read, think about and commiserate with. I do miss my Michigan garden, especially this time of year so live vicariously through your posts and photos.
I remember when I was a kid (middle child too) there was a weeping willow nearby and that was MY sanctuary. I often wish there was a weeping willow here! :)
Having been through all those hormonal changes, I am pleased to hear you have found the answer to keeping things under control. The peace of your garden certainly is a godsend for you.
Have a lovely rest of the week, June!

summersundays-jw said...

You'll get it all thought through in that beautiful place but you'll find that most of it ends up taking care of itself. Wonderful, thoughtful post. Jan said...

Good morning sweet June:)
Yes, I agree that gardening is good for the soul. So happy for you that you have created such a gorgeous place to be able to think aboug the things you would like to do in your life.I can't think of a better place to do them then in your beautiful garden. Thanks for sharing:)
~Debra xxx
Capers of the vintage vixens

Villa König said...

A wonderful post and your words about gardening are so true. I also can think about life, the lovely persons in my life and so on during gardening. It is a time full of enjoyment and relaxing. Wish you all the best and I am so sorry to hear that about your brother in law. Hugs Yvonne

Sylvia said...

Gardening is such a rewarding, and in a way - you describe it- spiritual experience... In the rush of modern life, we tend to lose touch with the peace that is available in each moment. But you are right, coming into close contact with nature and earth always makes us aware of our relationships with the world around us and with others as well... I hope you will find what you are looking ( digging) for... I hops you will find a living peace in everything you do. I pray for your sister, his children and their dad! Wonderful photos!

Low Tide High Style said...

We all need those quiet places to reconnect and think deeply, and your garden must be the perfect spot! I'm so sorry about your brother in law, I hope his family will find their own quiet place to deal with what waits ahead.

xo Kat

Sandi said...

Beautifully said June. I am working on some character flaws as well...must be our age. I have realized since turning older that it is okay not to try and please everyone also, because it is never going to happen. lol. Love this time of life!! Blessings to you dear friend and prayers for your dear sister and her family!!

Jacqueline~Cabin and Cottage said...

I'm glad you have such a beautiful place to carry your burdens to and work them out for awhile. So sorry to hear about your bother in law. Hugs and blessings to you and your family.

My name is Riet said...

Oh dear June, I am so sorry to hear about your worries. It is good that you have thinking time while working in your garden. I know all about those hormone times but it will get better , good that you got some medicine for it now.
Your photo's and your garden are fabulous. It must give you so much -pleasure to work in your garden and make everything so beautiful.
Hugs from Riet

Deb said...

Hi June
Your photos as always are spectacular! What a sacred space our gardens are ... yours looks like a little piece of Heaven. The colour of your Iris are gorgeous & the patch of poppies! I would love to sit in one of your hand crafted chairs and take it all in ♥
Sending love & prayers to your family. I lost my sister to brain cancer 22 years ago and miss her dearly. xo

Olive said...

Dear June, you are a deep old soul and I love that about you. Only folks who worry about not being better get better I think. I too seek and find peace in my flower garden. Somehow I talk to God there more easily. I see Him is those glorious flowers. He is in those foxgloves of yours for sure. xo, olive

Mary Palumbo Collings said...

Your garden is gorgeous and what a beautiful place to contemplate life , the good and the not so good...

One Shabby Old House said...

Well hello Miss Cranky Pants I can't even image you being as you describe. lol You are little miss sunshine and pretty flowers to me and an encourager to the masses here.
And if you have any character flaws my guess is just like the weeds....that we never see by the will snatch them up quickly before they take root.
So sorry to hear of your sister's husband. I will send up a prayer for you all.
Hugs to the sweet fragrance of flowers that we call June!

Katherine said...

My thoughts are with you and your family, it's nice to know you are close by for your Sister right now.

The garden is the perfect place to be to think, breath and find yourself. I always look at my garden as a sign of life and renewal - just the cycle of a garden over the year. It's sad to put it to bed in the fall, but I do it so carefully because I know in the spring I will find her ready to bloom again. I LOVE the feeling of walking through the garden in early spring and seeing the first sprigs starting to come up.
I was not a gardener until the year my Father passed away. I had many moments sitting in the living room looking out at the yard that winter, and the yearning to do something productive in the space came to me then. Every single time I am in the garden a Cardinal visits me - I know that it is a message from my Father. Is it any wonder that I love my garden so much.

And you dear lady have something in your garden I plan to add to mine - those pretty pink poppies.


Unknown said...

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Nely said...

My dear June,
What a beautiful garden you have,looks so calm..I am so sorry for your worries,I am worries to for my mother health,and my garden is my escape.
Sending many hugs with love to you and your family!

Cindy said...

I think you are wonderful, and i love that you dig beneath the surface, in your garden and inside yourself. It's your form of meditation and prayer... gardening. I am very inspired by your words... they make me feel better. I have been struggling with getting older and family issues and all kinds of stuff...and it's all just been making me feel so angry and frustrated and depressed, and filled with anxiety all the time. Your words remind me to stop just pushing through, and to take time to really put things in perspective and try to be better.
My place when i was a young girl was an old cedar tree.. it had a branch about in the center of the tree, that went from one side to the other, and i would climb up on it and sit all by myself.


pballard said...

Your flowers are so beautiful. I dont have much of a green thumb but am trying this year a little. I am sorry to hear about your brother in law. It really has been rough for me losing both parents so close together. I have had some health issues of late and am waiting on test results. Praying for peach and comfort for you and your family.

Susan in Katy, Texas said...

I always look forward to your garden. I do find solace in your garden. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Alina said...

And what a beautiful place You have to be alone and to do your "thinking and digging" ;)Lucky is everyone,who has that kind of place,for we all need to take time to evaluate ourselves... Wishing You success in all your improvements !
Hugs from here !

Unknown said...

Oh June. Your garden is so beautiful. I think we are soul sisters. I so hear you about time in the garden and how you need to get away. It is such food for our souls. And yes what a perfect time to pray. I am praying for your sister and her family. God will wrap them in his love at this difficult time. Hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

Saying a prayer for you and your sister and family. So much sorrow in our world and how we so wish we could somehow make it all better for our loved ones. So thankful for our Father's promise of one day making it all right- till then we trust and pray.

I am wondering if I might need to get some natural hormones- I have been having a terrible time sleeping and the emotions are all over the place. Can I ask what you are using? A friend told me of Sleep MD a natural sleeping help - had hubby pick some up at the store when he was in town so hope that will help some! Thanks for sharing that your MIss Cranky pants sometimes too! Can't imagine that in you!

bee blessed

Diane said...

Yes, gardens are so much more than planting and cleaning and moving. Sometimes it seems that your soul is there. I'm so sorry about your brother in law, Such a hard blow to everyone. The "change" - yes, I'm still there, too, just as you described it, and I'm sure so many are. I love where you described your little spot where you could be alone with your thoughts, that's just so lovely. Your flowers are just enchanting, June, keep digging! Diane

Ivy and Elephants said...

June, I always love your beautiful garden posts and this one is a real beauty. You always make me want to reach out and smell the blooms and walk among the flowers.
I'm so sorry for your sister's tragedy. But I know she and her children have a loving family that will be standing beside them through these dark days.
God's blessings,

Petit Coterie said...

June, What a beautiful heartfelt post. I think so many of us go through exactly what you're going through. I hope your days are filled with peace and satisfaction. Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos of your garden.
God Bless you,


Jade said...

Your garden is such a wonderful paradise, dear June, what a breathtaking place full of beauty and harmony. All the joy of nature helps us trough the hard times in our life! My prayers are with your sisters family!

With love and hugs, Jade

Anonymous said...

Dear June, I love your posts...always do. I'm so sorry to hear of your brother-in-law's illness. I pray for strength for your sister and family. Your pictures and thoughts are all so lovely. Thank you for bringing some perspective to my day. :)

Madelief said...

Dear June,

Your garden looks delightful! The roses, poppies, irises....the colours are amazing. I agree with you on the garden. It's the perfect place to let your mind wander, contemplate and get things clear in your head. So sorry to hear you haven't been feeling your old self lately. Hope the hormone pills will do their work.

Take care dear friend!

Madelief x

Dorthe said...

Dear June,
You are truly going through some hard time now,- how very tragic for your sister`s husbond ,for her, and ofcourse for you and everyone else involved!! I know about fearing and loosing, as mt one sister had to leave us because of cancer, too- some years ago...I think I told you before!
Your garden, beautiful as it is , must be a beautiful and perfect place to prepare oneself for hard situations, and for thinking good and positive thoughts as well!
I loved to see your amazing poppies, I have one sort -kind of salmon coloured- very beautiful, as yours are too!
I`m so happy for you that the natural hormone replacement have helped you, and that your wonderful garden gives you power to reflections and right desitions and loving thoughts!!
Hugs and love, Dorthe

Shabby soul said...

June I'm grateful for your "over-sharing", your thaughts and reflection about what you are, the changes that are happening to you and your desire to continue to grow, your family's terrible trubles, the meaning of gardening... You are a beautiful soul, and your garden reflects her beauty.
Many many hugs my darling sweet friend

Nella Miller said...

Dear June, I often think of you in your beautiful garden, but only more so this year...I too have a dear niece struggling with breast seems to be affecting so many of us....You are so right about finding solace and peace in our gardens...God's constant reminder of the cycle of life....N.xoxo

Mimi Sue said...

My grandma used to say that working in the garden is cheaper than a therapist and I think she's right! You have a beautiful garden. Love that huge yellow rose bush. Looks like a climber. Gorgeous! Prayers for your sister and her family. Mimi

Julia @ Vintage with Laces said...

Dear June, I'm very sorry to hear about your sister's husband. It must be such a hard time for all of you. I can imagine that your beautiful garden is the perfect space for you to think about problems. You're surrounded by beauty and don't get distracted there. The sounds of nature are so calming.
Keeping you in my thoughts and sending big hugs over to you, my friend,

the old white house said...

Oh I so needed to read this today June. Thank you for 'oversharing' because I am right there with you. Sometimes I don't feel like myself anymore and I need a 'time-out'! I will be praying for your sisters family, for all who will be left with a void in their lives.
Your garden is gorgeous, just gorgeous! Being from a family of 12, I used to sneak into one of the upstairs closets, it had the sweetest tiny window in it and sometimes I would climb out that window and onto the roof where no one could find me. we all need our alone time... my time-outs serve that for me today!
Have a wonderful weekend! love,t.xoxo

Debbie said...

I agree with you, June. Gardening isn't just working with the earth, it's working with one's soul. Where else can you find the peace and quiet to just "think". It seems that in the silence, I can hear God speak to my heart, as well. The beauty in nature becomes magnified...and I get a glimpse of God's glory, even if it's for a moment. Even tho I feel worn out physically by the end of the day, I am refreshed in my spirit from spending time in the gardens.
Your post is beautiful, June. One that so many of us can relate to. You are such a blessing.

suziqu's thread works said...

Oh Dear sweet June you are going through some tough times and thank God your garden has been your saving grace!

I know about those hormonal feelings can change you so much and how wonderful the hormone replacement therapy is from experience but even more difficult is facing what is ahead with your sister's husband - God bless him and all his dearest around him!

I will have you in my heart and mind and send you much energy to cope with what lies ahead!

Wishing you many beautiful, meditative, rejuvenating and relaxing
hours in your heavenly garden.

With much love,

Susan EvelynAndRose said...

Oh June, what a beautiful post. I can picture you working in your garden and looking up every now and then with a ponderous thought. I'm so glad that this beautiful corner of nature you've nurtured has become a place of respite and peace for you. I think anyone walking in your gardens could find solace and a gentle place to reflect on life's events.
I'll say a prayer for your sister and her family, and also one for you - that you're not too hard on yourself!
Oh, and I must tell you how much I loved your article in Melinda's premiere magazine. It's so heartwarming and down-to-earth - just like you.
xo, Susan

Elma said...

OH I love your garden!! Praying that the Lord will give your sister and husband peace and strength and all they need at time.

Ingrid said...

Hello June,I enjoy the pictures of your beautiful the poppies!have a lovely weekend...

Things and Thoughts said...

Such a great post June!I'm sure nature can heal wounded souls...And this garden is more than beautiful, it's therapeutic!
Keeping in mind all that you say and sending you my sweetest thoughts...

chateau de fleurs said...

Breathtakingly beautiful June!I'm so glad you stopped by to say hi, miss you! XO Christie said...

One of my sweetesst friends:

I always love being with you. But today is most important. The change in life is so very hard. I glad you are on therapy. That was the best time of my life.

Those yellow roses have touched my heart deap.

love you

Laura said...

June, it sounds like you are coping very well with all the emotions that come with changes at that time in a womans life... Its not something i look forward to as i see how difficult it has been for my mum. We can only do our best :) So sorry to hear about your brother in law. I pray for his recovery, amazing advancements are being discovered all the time with cancer treatments. Your garden is just one of the most beautiful i have ever seen! I can imagine how soothing and peaceful it must be spending warm summer days pottering and pruning! have a lovely weekend june!

Edith DUTERTRE said...

quel délices de se promener dans votre jardin
rempli de roses , d'iris, de pavots
c'est un vrai bonheur
je suis désolée pour les membres de
votre famille
je suis de tout coeur avec vous

Lisa said...

What a beautiful post. Thanks for over sharing it with us. I am experiencing a lot of the symptoms you described but I had to have a hysterectomy years ago & have taken hormones since. I feel like I'm going through menopause. Night sweats, forgetful, cranky (although I think that's just my nature). I love your garden therapy, think I need to do some weeding of my own today.
Love to you always.

wendy said...

Well, I totally agree that we all need our "alone places". Quiet places to do our deeped thinking as you said. And sometimes places to shed private tears.
I so agree with you about ME...oversharing, I ask myself sometimes, WHY DID YOU THINK everyone needs to know that. Sheeesh.
And there are certainly times when I have felt a little "less" too.
Perhaps we as women share those feelings eh.
So very sorry to hear about your sister's husband. Such a difficult time I am sure.
And, I'll keep telling you, I think you have such a beautiful yard/garden. It must totally reflect YOU.

Lana Manis said...

Dear June, you go ahead and share all you want! Photos, stories, I'll read and take in all of it. :)

I have never been much of a flower gardener. I can grow a few here and there but have never had the lovely flower beds I see in magazines and on your breathtaking blog. I am clearing out spaces and places for flowers and bushes, beginning this week. Have you posted any photos in the past of wide-shots of your gardens? I desperately need inspiration.

Your sister and her family are in my thoughts and prayers. I have no words for this sad time, but words are not always needed. Prayers are.

I'll be checking in from time to time.
Take care and God bless...

Sophia said...

Dear June,

I truly believe that gardening is good for the soul! I so relate to everything in your words. I have a day planned in my kitchen garden today with hopefully no interruptions....bliss!

Prayers for your sister and her family.....

Have a lovely day!

Sophia x

Tins roser said...

So fantastic! Beautiful and creative. I love it!

Eugenia Maru said...

Buaaahhhh, aquí estamos en pleno invierno, nada de hojas ni flores, sólo lluvia y frío. Aunque también la lluvia tiene su encanto.
Lindo tu blog, te felicito.
Maru - Chile

inge said...

Such a heartfelt beautiful post keeping you and your sister and her family in my thoughts and prayers.

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

June, I am so sorry to hear about your brother in law. It is never easy to learn how to live life and to adapt without someone you love with all of your heart and soul. I know this first hand. Prayers for you family.

Glad you are feeling better. Hormones play such an important role in our well being, or lack thereof.

Beautiful always. I wish I had a large plot of land to plant so many beautiful flowers.
Getting our hands dirty with gardening is SO therapeutic.


Vintage Home said...

I was thinking of you and thought I would pop by...again, but I see i must not have clicked on publish!
Thinking of you all the same, and your dear family. May
Gods deepest peace consume you and the riches of his grace comfort you, as you stand beside your sister at this time.

Custom Comforts said...

What a lovely sweet post June. Your gardens are just gorgeous and I so understand how they give peace to the soul. I love your pink poppies - what beauties.
It is hard to accept the changes that come with getting older. I hate the hot flashes that appear will be with me to the end. And hormone meds do truly help mellow everything out - don't you think?
I feel so sad for your sister. Life can be so unexpected and hard. I work for a large cancer hospital and part of my job is reading the obits every day and looking for our patients. They both make me sad and inspire me. Death has a way of helping us sort out what is truly important and how to spend our lives more wisely.

Shabby Passion said...

June, what an emotion reading this post on your deep thinking... I feel so close to you and I send you and your family my sweetest thoughts and prayers.


Pondside said...

It's such a time of life we're in now, June. I'm glad you have your garden for solace and refreshment. There is certainly a lot going on for you and you are wise to seek comfort in the garden - I know how it can help in the business of sorting through thoughts and plans.
Thinking of you...

Bernideen said...

Looks like many women identified with your thoughts and problems here. I was not very sweet when those hot flashed first began years ago. I also loss my brother last year to brain tumors. I have several friends right now with cancer. Gardens do bring comfort and I find talking to the Lord there is so easy as well.

Your blog is beautiful as always!